Quazy for Vanessa/Transcript

• (Scene starts with SwaySway and Buhdeuce sitting on the rocket van.)
• SwaySway: You know, buhdeuce, there are only three things you need in life to be happy quacky. One, bread.
• Buhdeuce: yip, yip.
• SwaySway: Two, bread. And three...
• Buhdeuce: bread, bread, bread.
• SwaySway: No a sweet rica rica rocket van, MAN.
• (The Breadwinners enjoying their day, until ducks quacking, racing away as fast as they can)
• [ducks quacking frantically]
• Buhdeuce: (confused) Whoa, what's with all the ruckus?
• (When the boys go to investigate, they realize they are more ducks fly off, frantically from someone.)
• SwaySway: Maybe it's a monster.
• (Mama Monster appears, much to their startling surprise.)
• Mama Monster: No, man, it's worse! Much worse! (screams)
• Buhdeuce: What could be worse than monsters?
• (both gasp)
• (heavy rock music plays)
• (From the horizon, we see the viking blimp in there Vikings. The reason that ducks fly away is big muscular beaver in viking outfit his name is Oonski the Great, he eats his meat and spits the bone out at the nearby duck.)
• Both: OONSKI THE GREAT!
• Oonski: Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) I'm Oonski the Great And I eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! BOO.
• (quack)
• Oonski: (laughs) Puny feather brains.
• Buhdeuce: Oh, my bap. that guy is quazy.
• SwaySway: Don't worry. he'll never find us up here.
• Oonski: (shouts) (both scream) Give me your stuff. (laughs) Huh What's this? a rocket van. Oonski's never stolen a rocket van before.
• (Oonski decides to steal it, but Buhdeuce comes to its defense and confronts Oonski)
• Buhdeuce: (furious) No way, crumb bag. the rocket van is ours.
• (Oonski roars)
• SwaySway: Let's skiduckle, b.
• (Breadwinners enter the rocket van and drive away, knocking Oonski off of the building.)
• Oonski: (falls down) Eat, beat, steal!
• (ducks quack)
• (heavy rock music plays)
• (both grunting)
• Buhdeuce: Man, that beaver really wants our rocket.
• SwaySway: Release the splat bread.
• Buhdeuce: Buh, buh, buh, buh, booty kick!
• Oonski: (Got splattered on) Mmm, that's not bad.
• (they got away)
• Oonski: hey, you shoot at Oonski's crew. Now Oonski shoot Oonski's crew at you.
• both: (oblivious) WHAT?
• [ducks quack angrily]
• [shouts]
• [gagging]
• (quacks)
• [reverberating]
• SwaySway: Shake it off, man. I don't see him. I think we lost him.
• (To their surprise, he appears in the windshield)
• Oonski: Think again.
• [both scream]
• SwaySway: Punch it, b.
• Buhdeuce: Hoo-ah.
• [Oonski screams]
• both: WHOO-HOO! OH, YEAH!
• SwaySway: Okay, we can slow down now.
• (Buhdeuce worryingly watches at the button that he hit. It is damaged, due to his punch being very strong. Buhdeuce touches it, it electrified Buhdeuce as he turns into meat.)
• [electric zapping]
• Buhdeuce: Uh, I think I punched it too hard, bap.
• [both screaming]
• [both scream]
• Buhdeuce: I think my skull is in my butt.
• SwaySway: No pain, no grain.
• [together, weakly] PUH, PUH, PUH, PARTY PUNCH.
• SwaySway: At least we finally lost oonski.
• Oonski: EAT, BEAT, STEAL [ducks quack] EAT, BEAT, STEAL [ducks quack]
• Buhdeuce: Oh, my bap, you got to be kidding me. We'll never get away now.
• SwaySway: We can't let Oonski take the rocket van.
• Buhdeuce: But it's too big to hide. It'd be like trying to hide my booty.
• SwaySway: It might be too big to hide, but it's not too big to disguise.
• Buhdeuce: My booty or the rocket van?
• [bright music]
• [panting exhaustingly]
• (The boys have finished and transformed it into Vanessa)
• Buhdeuce: hubbah, hubbah.
• SwaySway: Hello, boxy mama.
• (One food falls off as Buhdeuce eats it.)
• Buhdeuce: This disguise is delish.
• SwaySway: Oonski won't even be able to tell it's the rocket van, I hope.
• (Oonski appears, scaring Breadwinners as they hide inside of Vanessa.)
• [both scream]
• Oonski: [growling] That rocket van must be around here some-- why, hello there, miss. [chuckles] Have you seen a rocket van go by?
• SwaySway: [gasps] HE'S TALKING TO US. What do we do?
• (SwaySway takes out the walkie-talkie.)
• SwaySway: We conversate?
• Buhdeuce: Ooh, ooh, ooh.
• (Buhdeuce takes the walkie and uses it to speak with Oonski in girl voice.)
• Buhdeuce: [high-pitched] NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN A VAN GO By.
• Oonski: Ooh, you have a very pretty voice.
• Buhdeuce: [normal] THANK YOU. I MEAN, UM...[high-pitched] THANK YOU. That's, uh, what my mama always told me.
• (Buhdeuce turns the walkie off as SwaySway stands in speechlessness.)
• Buhdeuce: [normal] I think he's buying it.
• Swaysway: Okay, careful now. One
• One slip of the beak, and we could blow this whole disguise and lose the rocket van.
• Oonski: So what's your name?
• Buhdeuce: (girly voice) My name is rocket van. (Gets interrupted)
• SwaySway: (Takes the microphone and talks in a girly voice) nessa. My name is vanessa.
• Oonski: My name is oonksi the great, son of oonski the good, grandson of oonski the so-so.
• [Oonski So-so belches]
• SwaySway: [girl voice] Well, it was nice to meet you.
• Got to go grease my gaskets. toodle-oo.
• Oonski: [shouts] Hold on! Oonski knows what's going on here.
• SwaySway: (nervous) UM, YOU DO? [clears throat] [high-pitched] I MEAN, YOU DO?
• Oonski: Yes. You're playing hard to get. [laughs] OONSKI RESPECTS THAT.
• Oonski: Oonski will take you on a nice date now to show you he's a gentleman.
• [people screaming]
• Oonski: Give me a table for two!
• [silverware clanks]
• [ducks quack]
• Oonski: Please.
• Buhdeuce: I guess the disguise worked too well. He's got a crush on vanessa.
• SwaySway: Then we got to crush that crush by making Vanessa as obnoxious as possible.
• Buhdeuce: I'll show you obnoxious. Give me that.
• [Buhdeuce snatches the walkie-talkie from SwaySway's hands. The scene cuts to Oonski.]
• Oonski: So, vanessa, tell Oonski about yourself.
• Buhdeuce:[girl voice] Well, I'm a compulsive liar.
• Oonski: Yeah.
• Buhdeuce: [girl voice] I have no job or money.
• Oonski: Go on.
• Buhdeuce: [girl voice] I live in my parents' basement.
• Oonski: Ooh, basement.
• Buhdeuce: [girl voice] I like to pick my scabs.
• Oonski: Scabs.
• Buhdeuce: [girl voice] Ooh! And I poop with the door open.
• Oonski: ME TOO! [laughs] Vanessa, oonski think oonski's in love.
• (Oonski leans for a kiss, this disgusts Breadwinners.)
• SwaySway: Oh, no. He's coming in for a kiss.
• [screaming]
• SwaySway: (grossed out) Oh, gross. I can see tonsil.
• Buhdeuce:(furious) I can't take it anymore. This must end!
• (Angered and disgusted, Buhdeuce presses the button...)
• [horn blaring] 
• Oonski: [grunting] I don't know about you, but oonski's feeling some real sparks here.
• SwaySway: [in girly voice] The only thing I feel is sick and dirty.
• Oonski: You're probably just hungry. Please allow oonski to feed you. This will be romantic. Remember to chew your food.
• [both grunting]
• SwaySway: [in girly voice] Stop! please! I'm full.
• Oonski: You just need to walk it off.
• (They fly off. The scene cuts with them in the park.)
• Oonski: Vanessa, you're not like other girls. You're much bigger, and you have a surprising amount of torque.
• SwaySway: (in girly voice) That's, um, nice of you.
• Oonski: What can Oonski say? Oonski's a nice guy. Sure, oonski likes to eat, beat, and steal, but deep down oonski has feelings, deep feelings for you, Vanessa.
• Both: HUH?
• Oonski: Now that your my girlfriend, there's something you should know. You'll never be, without Oonski. Cause I'll never let you GO! Vanessa, I'll be so good to you! Everything, I do I do for you! Come On, Vanessa! You Drive Me Quazy! I like you, so much, I want to raise a family with YOU! With YOU! Send the kid to school, send the kid to collage! He will make us proud, he will be a doctor! So what do you say Vanessa? Will you make me the happiest Viking Beaver in the world and MARRY ME?
• Buhdeuce: [Talks through a microphone, in a girly voice] No.
• SwaySway: [Grabs the microphone, also in a girly voice] No WAY I wouldn't say yes!
• Oonski: Yes! Yes! Victory dance! Oh yeah! Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski Oh yeah Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski...
• (While he's dancing, SwaySway is left quazy and speechless, but Buhdeuce is agitated and disgusted.)
• Buhdeuce: (agitated) So let me get this straight. We have to marry oonski and raise a family with him now?
• SwaySway: It's either that or lose the rocket van, and papa ain't giving up his wheels.
• Oonski: Oh, vanessa, we're going to be so happy together. There's absolutely nothing that will ever tear our love apart.
• (The pigeons eat the food cleaning the rocket van)
• Oonski: (enraged) Hey, you're not a girl! You two quackers tricked oonski! (he drops the Breadwinners and takes the rocket van in them) But on the bright side, now I can finally steal the rocket van.
• SwaySway: Think again, oonski. party punch!
• Buhdeuce: You okay over there, bap?
• [screams]
• [heavy rock music]
• [shouting]
• [grunting]
• ♪ ♪
• Oonski: Taste my mace.
• [wolf whistle]
• Oonski: HMM?
• SwaySway: (high-pitched) HEY THERE, BIG BEAVER.
• (Oonski drops his mace on Buhdeuce and falls in love with the dumpster in which SwaySway hides)
• Oonski: Hello, miss. (sniffs) Is that perfume you're wearing? Oonski think oonski's in love again.
• (Oonski chuckles and kisses it, which disgusts the Breadwinners)
• SwaySway: (groans disgustedly) THAT IS JUST WRONG.
• Buhdeuce: (angry) Tell me about it. That dumpster isn't half the woman vanessa was.
• Oonski: Oh, dumpster-ella, you're twice the woman vanessa was.
• (Episode ends.)