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  • (Scene starts with SwaySway and Buhdeuce sitting on the Rocket Van.)
  • SwaySway: You know, buhdeuce, there are only three things you need in life to be happy quacky. One, bread.
  • Buhdeuce: yip, yip.
  • SwaySway: Two, bread. And three...
  • Buhdeuce: bread, bread, bread.
  • SwaySway: No a sweet rica rica ROCKET VAN, MAN.
  • (duck quacking)
  • Buhdeuce: Whoa, what's with all the ruckus?
  • SwaySway: Maybe it's a monster.
  • Mama Monster: No, man, it's worse! much worse (screams)
  • Buhdeuce: What could be worse than monsters?
  • (both gasp)
  • (heavy rock music)
  • Both: OONSKI THE GREAT!
  • Oonski: Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) I'm Oonski the Great And I eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! BOO.
  • (quack)
  • Oonski: (laughs) Puny feather brains.
  • Buhdeuce: Oh, my bap. that guy is quazy.
  • SwaySway: Don't worry. he'll never find us up here.
  • Oonski: (shouts) (both scream) Give me your stuff. (laughs) Huh What's this? a rocket van. Oonski's never stolen a rocket van before.
  • Buhdeuce: No way, crumb bag. the rocket van is ours.
  • (Oonski roars)
  • SwaySway: Let's skiduckle, b.
  • Oonski: (falls down) Eat, beat, steal!
  • (ducks quack)
  • [heavy rock music]
  • [both grunting]
  • Buhdeuce: Man, that beaver really wants our rocket.
  • SwaySway: Release the splat bread.
  • Buhdeuce: Buh, buh, buh, buh, booty kick!
  • Oonski: (Got splattered on) Mmm, that's not bad.
  • (they got away)
  • Oonski: hey, you shoot at Oonski's crew. Now Oonski shoot Oonski's crew at you.
  • both: WHAT?
  • [ducks quack angrily]
  • [shouts]
  • [gagging]
  • [quacks] ♪ ♪
  • [reverberating]
  • SwaySway: Shake it off, man.I don't see him. I think we lost him.
  • Oonski: Think again.
  • [both scream] - Punch it, b.
  • Hoo-ah.
  • [screams] both: WHOO-HOO! OH, YEAH!
  • Okay, we can slow down now.
  • Uh, I think I punched it too hard, bap.
  • [both screaming] [both scream]
  • Buhdeuce: I think my skull is in my butt.
  • No pain, no grain.
  • [together, weakly] PUH, PUH, PUH, PARTY PUNCH.
  • At least we finally lost oonski.
  • Oonski: EAT, BEAT, STEAL [ducks quack] EAT, BEAT, STEAL [ducks quack]
  • Oh, my bap, you got to be kidding me.
  • We'll never get away now.
  • We can't let oonski take the rocket van.
  • but it's too big to hide.
  • It'd be like trying to hide my booty.
  • It might be too big to hide, but it's not too big to disguise.
  • My booty or the rocket van?
  • [bright music]
  • [panting]
  • hubbah, hubbah. hello, boxy mama.
  • This disguise is delish.
  • Oonski won't even be able to tell it's the rocket van, I hope.
  • [both scream] - [growling] That rocket van must be around here some-- why, hello there, miss.
  • [chuckles] Have you seen a rocket van go by?
  • [gasps] HE'S TALKING TO US.
  • What do we do? we conversate?
  • Ooh, ooh, ooh.
  • [high-pitched] NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN A VAN GO By.
  • Ooh, you have a very pretty voice.
  • [normal] THANK YOU. I MEAN, UM...
  • [high-pitched] THANK YOU.
  • That's, uh, what my mama always told me.
  • I think he's buying it. - okay, careful now.
  • One slip of the beak, and we could blow this whole disguise and lose the rocket van.
  • So what's your name?
  • Buhdeuce: (girly voice) My name is rocket van. (Gets interrupted)
  • SwaySway: (Takes the microphone and talks in a girly voice) nessa. My name is vanessa.
  • My name is oonksi the great, son of oonski the good, grandson of oonski the so-so.
  • [belches] - Well, it was nice to meet you.
  • Got to go grease my gaskets. toodle-oo.
  • [shouts] Hold on!
  • Oonski knows what's going on here.
  • UM, YOU DO? [clears throat] [high-pitched] I MEAN, YOU DO?
  • Yes.
  • You're playing hard to get.
  • [laughs] OONSKI RESPECTS THAT.
  • Oonski will take you on a nice date now to show you he's a gentleman.
  • [people screaming] Give me a table for two!
  • [silverware clanks] [ducks quack] Please.
  • I guess the disguise worked too well.
  • He's got a crush on vanessa.
  • Then we got to crush that crush by making vanessa as obnoxious as possible.
  • I'll show you obnoxious. give me that.
  • So, vanessa, tell oonski about yourself.
  • Well, I'm a compulsive liar. - yeah.
  • I have no job or money. - go on.
  • I live in my parents' basement.
  • Ooh, basement.
  • I like to pick my scabs.
  • Scabs.
  • ooh!
  • And I poop with the door open.
  • ME TOO! [laughs] Vanessa, oonski think oonski's in love.
  • Oh, no.
  • He's coming in for a kiss.
  • [screaming] - Oh, gross. I can see tonsil.
  • I can't take it anymore.
  • This must end!
  • [horn blaring] - [grunting] I don't know about you, but oonski's feeling some real sparks here.
  • The only thing I feel is sick and dirty.
  • You're probably just hungry.
  • Please allow oonski to feed you.
  • This will be romantic.
  • Remember to chew your food.
  • [both grunting] - Stop! please! I'm full.
  • You just need to walk it off.
  • Vanessa, you're not like other girls.
  • You're much bigger, and you have a surprising amount of torque.
  • That's, um, nice of you.
  • Oonski: What can oonski say? oonski's a nice guy. Sure, oonski likes to eat, beat, and steal, but deep down oonski has feelings, deep feelings for you, vanessa.
  • Both: HUH?
  • Oonski: Now that your my girlfriend, there's something you should know. You'll never be, without Oonski. Cause I'll never let you GO! Vanessa, I'll be so good to you! Everything, I do I do for you! Come On, Vanessa! You Drive Me Quazy! I like you, so much, I want to raise a family with YOU! With YOU! Send the kid to school, send the kid to collage! He will make us proud, he will be a doctor! So what do you say Vanessa? Will you make me the happiest Viking Beaver in the world and MARRY ME?
  • Buhdeuce: [Talks through a microphone, in a girly voice] No.
  • SwaySway: [Grabs the microphone, also in a girly voice] No WAY I wouldn't say yes!
  • Oonski: Yes! Yes! Victory dance! Oh yeah! Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski Oh yeah Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski...
  • Buhdeuce: So let me get this straight. We have to marry oonski and raise a family with him now?
  • SwaySway: It's either that or lose the rocket van, and papa ain't giving up his wheels.
  • Oonski: Oh, vanessa, we're going to be so happy together. There's absolutely nothing that will ever tear our love apart.
  • (the pidgeons eat the food cleaning the rocket van)
  • Oonski: Hey, you're not a girl! You two quackers tricked oonski! (he drops the Breadwinners and takes the rocket van in them) But on the bright side, now I can finally steal the rocket van.
  • Think again, oonski. party punch!
  • You okay over there, bap?
  • [screams] [heavy rock music] [shouting] - [grunting] ♪ ♪
  • Oonski: Taste my mace.
  • [wolf whistle]
  • Oonski: HMM?
  • SwaySway: (high-pitched) HEY THERE, BIG BEAVER.
  • (Oonski drops his mace on Buhdeuce and falls in love with the dumpster in which SwaySway hides)
  • Oonski: Hello, miss. (sniffs) Is that perfume you're wearing? Oonski think oonski's in love again. (chuckles and kisses which s=disgusts the Breadwinners)
  • SwaySway: (groans) THAT IS JUST WRONG.
  • Buhdeuce:Tell me about it.
  • SwaySway: That dumpster isn't half the woman vanessa was.
  • Oonski: Oh, dumpster-ella, you're twice the woman vanessa was.
  • (Episode end.)

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